Divorced Parents Question

[starrynight]

I can't remember if this has been asked somewhere else already, but has anyone else noticed how all of the divorced moms kept their ex-husband's last names? I'll list everyone I can think of:

Mrs. McGill (until the very end of the series)
Mrs. Barrett
Mrs. Thomas
Mrs. Shaefer


I'm almost sure there's more, but that's a good start. Why do you guys think that was, especially in the case of someone like Mrs. Thomas or Barrett, who didn't exactly have a friendly divorce?

[Lauren]

When my parents got divorced my mom kept her married name to make it easier for me and my brothers. Maybe that's why they did it too.

[sotypical42483]

I'm assuming AMM didn't put a whole lot of thought into what the women's last names would be. Personally, I think this is just another reason why women should keep their own last names when they marry, but I won't go off on that tangent. Anyway I would imagine that if a woman changed her name when she married, she may keep it afterwards because a) it's easier, b) that's what people know her as, and c) she may want to have the same name as her children.

[inge]

Personally I think it's a bit crazy to keep your ex-husbands name after divorce. I think changing your name back is (besides the normal, rational thing to do) a form of closure.

[lyricalangel]

My mom kept her married name until she remarried. She did it to have the same last name as me.

[booboobrewer]

I never thought much of why all the moms kept their names. Agree with sotypical's reasons for keeping the name after divorce.

Was Elizabeth ever called Elizabeth Thomas-Brewer? I know I've seen Sharon as Sharon Schafer-Spier a few times after her re-marriage (in many later books she's just Sharon Spier). I remember some discussion on another thread some time back about the Thomas-Brewers, and Emily Michelle being a Thomas-Brewer--probably because they wanted to show the blending of the families, given that Kristy, Sam, Charlie, and David Michael are her siblings and they're still Thomases. People also suggested that David Michael may take on the name Brewer when he's older since Watson has been the only dad he's known, which makes a lot of sense.

[dawnomite]

sotypical42483 said:

I'm assuming AMM didn't put a whole lot of thought into what the women's last names would be. Personally, I think this is just another reason why women should keep their own last names when they marry, but I won't go off on that tangent. Anyway I would imagine that if a woman changed her name when she married, she may keep it afterwards because a) it's easier, b) that's what people know her as, and c) she may want to have the same name as her children.

The reason why I didn't change my last name when I got married is just because it was easier not too. I actually attempted to go get it hyphenated once, but I didn't bring my marriage license with me so I couldn't do it that day and I just thought "screw it". I can definitely see why someone wouldn't change their name/change it back. It's not that it's that hard it's just something that's easy to be lazy about. Especially when you consider needing to get new credit cards, new checks, a new SS card, new library card, insurance card, notifying your employer, etc., etc., etc. Adding kids who've preciously shared your last name for their whole lives only adds to the confusion I would think.

[aln1982]

In most cases that I know of (including the ones you mentioned, Inge), women don't change their names back so they share their kids' names. This makes sense to me and I think might help the kids feel a little better (if that's possible) about having divorced parents because it cuts down on confusion and questions. Agree with sotypical and dawnomite on the other reasons, too.
Speaking of name changing, Dawn is really against it. I just read two different books where she brings up that she will NOT be changing her name. I think she is the only girl that mentions this, though. I think MA would probably willingly become Bruno but not sure about the other ones. I can see Stacey and Kristy at least having objections to changing their names when they get married. But I guess I'm getting off topic of divorced women...sorry.

[sotypical42483]

I don't remember Dawn saying that, but I'm not surprised that she would. I, as usual, agree with her, lol. I could see Kristy and maybe Abby feeling that way - Kristy especially because of her situation with her dad. I wonder if Kristy would grow up having issues with men (expecting them to run off on her and whatnot) because of Patrick. I can't see Stacey not changing her name. I see Stacey finding some rich Wall Street type of dude and then wanting to change her name so everyone knows who she is.

[greer]

My mom didn't change hers back because her maiden name was belarussian transliterated into german and no americans can ever say it. So she is glad to keep a more pronouncable name, even though my dad got married again and my stepmom took his name too.

Also I feel like the books are dated about name-changing... Most women I know keep their name or hyphenate it.

[aln1982]

sotypical42483 said:

I don't remember Dawn saying that, but I'm not surprised that she would. I, as usual, agree with her, lol. I could see Kristy and maybe Abby feeling that way - Kristy especially because of her situation with her dad. I wonder if Kristy would grow up having issues with men (expecting them to run off on her and whatnot) because of Patrick. I can't see Stacey not changing her name. I see Stacey finding some rich Wall Street type of dude and then wanting to change her name so everyone knows who she is.

Dawn mentions the name in Wicked Stepsister and in MA and 2 Many Babies. I can see how a woman wouldn't want to change her name, though I will definitely change mine. Not surprised to differ with you on this personal preference, sotypical
I also wondered about Kristy's potential for men issues but think there is hope because she has been able to form such a good relationship with Watson and almost sees him as a father. Also wonder about MA because of her general issues with her mom dying, Stacey because she has "dad" issues of her own, and Claudia because of her major insecurities.

[sotypical42483]

^Wicked Stepsister is the next book I'm gonna start (just finished Great Romance) so I will look for that

[Kylie90210]

My Mum went back to her maiden name after my parent's divorce, even though they were married for 17 years. But that was because she is unreasonablily bitter. My last name is McGovern, and her last name is McDonald, so people always get confused. My poor unassuming friends called her Mrs McGovern, which she hated, lol.
Still, I can see wnating to drop a name of a person you hate so much. It is different with kids though. Mum actually wanted us to change our last name, but legally, she couldn't do anything. Her arguement was, kids should have the womans last name, as they go through labour etc. But she went back to her maiden name (her dads) not her mums. So there went her arguement.

Haha.

[aln1982]

^ Like your mom's philosophy about going through labor and all ;D I would rather have my mom's name (even though she goes by her married name) sometimes because I don't want to be associated with my dad's family. ;D If I were the Thomas kids, I would try to get my last name changed to Brewer.

[Kylie90210]

If my dad deserted me, I prolly would too