Rie
Sitting For The Newtons
Posts: 1,998
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Post by Rie on Jun 27, 2008 8:24:01 GMT -5
^I wonder why...
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Post by arnell24 on Jun 30, 2008 16:53:15 GMT -5
who is Asako Kishi?
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Post by arnell24 on Sept 9, 2010 18:29:47 GMT -5
Mr. Kishi is one sexy dude by lookin at the scrapbook.and he looks young
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Post by zoar3 on Jan 11, 2011 14:23:25 GMT -5
I'm re-reading #7. For a few years I was primary cargeiver to my Grandma who I was extremely close to. My situation was much different than Claudia's because I was much older and unfortunately the "care" needed was much greater and varied. After a while, at times, I did begin to resent being in the position I was in. I even harbored negative feelings at times toward Grandma, who I truly loved and wish were alive and healthy today. I think for me, the hardest part was the "change" in our relationship from the typical to atypical. I can totally see Claudia resenting her time with Mimi.
The reason I'm putting this here instead of the "#7" thread is that it occurred to me for the first time, how wrong it was for Rioko and John to put Claudia in charge of Mimi. I can understand how at first it was convenient, made sense, but even then, as adults they should have recognized that something was not right about the arrangement. It would have been different had Mimi just needed company as opposed to someone who both worked with her and physically watched over her. Surely there were such things as in-home support in Stoneybrook? Or maybe initially Claudia could have tried it and see how it went. I felt worse for Janine who was completely overlooked and cast side as well as Mimi who was never asked how she would feel about being "baby-sat" (Claud's words) by her grand-daughter. At the very least, outside care should have been provided 3/5 business days and the other two maybe Monday could have been Janine's day and Thursday Claudia's (no interferrence with play group) to just spend time with Mimi as her grand children. But then Stoneybrook is a land where 11 year olds are left in charge of a baby all weekend so maybe this arrangement wasn't so odd afterall.
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Post by greer on Jan 11, 2011 18:03:43 GMT -5
Perhaps it's cultural? I don't know all that much about Japanese society, but I'm pretty sure it's Confucian and puts a great emphasis on taking care of elders in the family, etc. In many cultures, the American way of handing off the care of elderly to strangers is seen very negatively.
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lilafowler
Sitting For The Johanssens
Posts: 1,163
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Post by lilafowler on Jan 11, 2011 18:24:47 GMT -5
^Agreed. Whether intentional or not, Claudia taking care of Mimi actually falls right in line with Asian customs.
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oldhickory
Sitting For The Arnolds
Heather Loves Boys and Gym
Posts: 3,251
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Post by oldhickory on Jan 11, 2011 18:41:03 GMT -5
even if taking care of your elders is considered traditional, it was also entirely unfair that a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD was expected to take on such a huge responsibility. the kishis wouldn't look bad if they brought in an outside caregiver. (they don't see their extended family that much, and i don't think they hang out with any other asian families ever, so that isn't a good excuse.) even though i generally love the kishis, i really hate that they did this to claudia (and to mimi.)
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Post by zoar3 on Jan 11, 2011 18:47:36 GMT -5
I think specifically taking time to take Mimi on a couple walks every week around the block, watch Wheel of Fortune with her as a way of building vocabulary, even playing Scrabble or Memory would be one thing. All of those things would be ones Janine could also do. This would also help bond Claudia and Mimi even closer as opposed to the other which had all markings of driving them apart. I think it is wonderful when a family member does step in to help care for another. I wish to all heck my beloved Grandma who I referred to above had had the resources and ability to have ultimately stayed in her home. In this book, the line was well crossed between what a newly 13 year old (remember in this book Claudia had truly just turn 13 for the first time) should be expected to do and perhaps someone older.
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Post by greer on Jan 11, 2011 19:07:36 GMT -5
But what else WAS Claud expected to do? I don't like this book, so I can't remember, but all I recall is Claud working with her on flash cards and stuff.
It's not about who sees you, it's ingrained. My aunt's mother took care of her schizophrenic son until she was 90. In most families he would have been sent to an institution long ago, but in Belarusian families you don't send away anyone if there's someone who can take care of them, even if they might be better off under a professional's care. Everyone is mad at my mom now because she won't let her brother live with her, when he lost his house because he basically turned into a male crazy cat lady. My mom's doctors said NO WAY (she has MS), but it's seen as abandoning your duty. It doesn't seem like Claud did that much; she just had to give up things for the family because she was in the easiest position to do so. Also, remember how Mimi reacted toward Mary Anne when MA tried to work with her?
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oldhickory
Sitting For The Arnolds
Heather Loves Boys and Gym
Posts: 3,251
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Post by oldhickory on Jan 12, 2011 14:20:04 GMT -5
^ i don't want to start an argument, but i would have reacted the same way mimi did if someone 60 years younger than me was trying to quiz me with flash cards :] i don't think claudia should have been asked to give up her summer just because "it was the easiest thing to do." she's barely a teenager who struggles all year long and she earned her summer. it would have been one thing if everybody in the family gave up the same amount of time, but claudia was fixing dinner and spending all her free time in the hospital. she even quit the play group. that's asking a lot.
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Post by zoar3 on Jan 12, 2011 17:36:38 GMT -5
I agree OH. It is not my intention to start a debate/argument at all either. I think both Claudia and Janine could have spent more time with Mimi but not in a true caregiving fashion. It would have also been interesting to have read about Rioko and John helping Mimi and/or (if nothing else) taking Claudia aside and asking her how it (Mimi-sitting) was going.
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Post by greer on Jan 12, 2011 23:37:56 GMT -5
As I recall, Claudia volunteered. Wasn't that the central conflict of the book, that Claudia was bitter than Janine didn't volunteer and Janine was upset that Claudia did before she had the chance? Honestly, I have a hard time seeing it as a huge sacrifice or anything above and beyond what family members should do for one another--especially given Claudia and Mimi's close relationship.
I also think that despite what people say about kids growing up too quickly, teenagers and preteens are given a lot less responsibility and independence than they used to, based on what I see with my 11 year old sister and her friends. That also might cloud judgment as to what is an appropriate amount of responsibility for a 13 year old.
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Post by greer on Jan 12, 2011 23:42:23 GMT -5
I mean, considering that Ann grew up in the 50s/60s and the book was written nearly 25 years ago.
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oldhickory
Sitting For The Arnolds
Heather Loves Boys and Gym
Posts: 3,251
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Post by oldhickory on Jan 14, 2011 15:20:13 GMT -5
yeah, i do agree that the resentment was more towards janine than her parents. i guess i don't really blame anybody for reacting the way that they did, but it still makes me sad.
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Post by zoar3 on Jan 14, 2011 17:51:50 GMT -5
I did feel the worst for Janine. It sounded like all the Kishis brushed her aside with the often unspoken even "Oh Janine is studying, I won't bother her." The problem with that is it quickly became "Janine doesn't count."
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