Shannon's Story

[Katie]

I found this book at Goodwill last week and Shannon really irritated me but her mom did too. My parents chaperoned tons of band trips for my younger siblings (i never joined band) and I never heard any of the four of them complain that mom and dad along would ruin the trip. My parents weren't over bearing like Shannon's mom was though. They knew to give their own kids space and never give them special treatment (beyond giving them spending money which most kids parents did anyway). She may never get the chance to see Paris and then she will regret it. Her parents could lose their money or something could happen to Shannon to prevent her from going later on.

[alula]

I think I'm a lot more sympathetic to Shannon here than most people because my mother does have a lot of overbearing tendencies, and a definite tendency not to respect boundaries (like last time she visited me and she went through everything in my bathroom to "reorganize" it for me). One of the things I remember that really bothered me in this book was when Shannon's mother suggested they should have their meeting at the Kilbournes' house, which to me said that not only was she being pushy, she wasn't even paying attention to the details of Shannon's actual life, because it's pretty basic to the concept of the BSC that thye have to be where the phone number is. (I don't think I was or am a spoiled brat, at least not entirely, but when my mother chaperoned one of my trips, I was very upset about it a) because she didn't ask me how I felt about it first, or even tell me until she'd already signed up, b) I was the only freshman in the group, and I felt that having my mother there really emphasized my being younger than everyone else and c) when my brother had the same trips, she never signed up to chaperone because he would possibly have refused to go and held his ground, but because she relied on me a lot to be the nice one, the sweet one, and her friend, even when I really needed some space, I felt like I couldn't say anything about it).

Then again, I also tend to have a pretty high degree of interest and/or sympathy for people who spend most of their lives being tightly-wound perfectionist type people and then suddenly do deliberate, self-destructive things, and I was absolutely fascinated by Shannon choosing to fail the test, because I would never have had the nerve, or been able to deal with the actual humiliation of a failing grade on my record, totally aside from Paris--it actually makes me uncomfortable to think about, and I know I felt a little queeasy the first time I read it.

[greer]

I feel like her mom totally understood that shannon failed the test on purpose. That's the only explanation I can see for normally straight-a shannon not getting in trouble for failing.

[aln1982]

^ Agree and think she must have really felt bad. I think that's why she left Shannon with all the responsibilities.

[sugarmonkey]

I just read for the first time and I really liked this book. I felt bad for Shannon, but I think the book ended on a positive note with her family (esp. her parents) trying to do something together. I'm glad her mom decided to do something with her life and that she got some friends. I loved when Shannon realized what her mom's life must be like. I don't know why it took so long for her mother to realize she should just get a life of her own. Stacey's mom had the same problem.

I liked reading the chapter 2's from Shannon's viewpoint, esp. when she said MA was shy, sensitive, and quiet but was also strong underneath. Her comment about Stacey seeming sophisticated to the other girls just because she is from New York was long overdue. And her comment about Claudia's style being "beyond city, maybe into outer space..." made me laugh.

HATED the mother's day subplot. They referred to the previous mother's day when Emily Michelle came but couldn't acknowledge they were still in the same grade as last mother's day! Annoying!

As for Shannon failing the test. I think in the end it was a good thing, even though she didn't intend it that way. It gave Shannon a chance to see what her mother's life was like. And it gave Shannon's mom a chance to get out into the world on her own.

[hitzpink]

I agree with aln and sotypical about Shannon sabotaging her trip to Paris. All she had to do was sit down with her mom and tell her that she didn't want her coming on the trip. Even if her mom still insisted on coming along, at least they could have talked about their issues and gotten everything out on the table. I really felt bad for Mrs. Kilbourne in this book, Shannon was just such a brat to her!

Also the ending kind of bugged me.. I can't remember the exact phrasing, but it was something like Shannon saying that her mom needs a job so that she can "get a life". It seemed to imply that all stay-at-home moms do is hover over their children/husband and interfere in their lives because they don't have a life of their own. It was very patronizing but given AMM's brand of "feminism" I wasn't too surprised to read it..

[aln1982]

^ Glad to hear we agree on the ending about stay-at-home moms. I also was really bothered by the fact that Shannon thought she couldn't have a close relationship with her mom because she was "too grown up". In my experience, that's when moms and daughters can develop the best relationships (in some situations). I'm 25 and love being with my mom - we actually even have fun together ;D (I think she just puts up with me better than anyone else ;D) I think that's why I really got a negative impression of Shannon from this book and didn't like it - I just can't relate and it made me feel bad for Mrs. Kilbourne because it kept making me think of my own mom.

[alula]

I really need to find my copy of this, because I'm feeling this all from memory. I really want to reread it now.

With regard to the "stay at home" mom thing, I took that to mean just that Kathy needed anything, whether a job or volunteer work or counselling or going back to school, but something to give her an additional place to base her identity on and draw her self-esteem from. Because to me, Kathy seems very unhappy at home, and that's part of my problem with how she interacts with Shannon. To me it seems like Kathy is asking, subconsiously at least, for Shannon to be her main source of emotional support, her friend and confidante as well as her daughter, and IMO, she's crossing a line that is inappropriate with a minor child. This is a big personal thing with me, but I just hate when adults entangle children into adult conflicts or neuroses. It worst when parents do it, but no one should, really. It's just not fair.

I still sympathize with Shannon an awful lot, while not denying that she handles the situation fairly badly. She also reminds me of me in a way--I think she understands a lot of what is going on in her house, and why it's unhappy. She's observant, she reads, she's thoughtful and she's verbal--she has pretty sophisticated understanding. I think she recognizes that Kathy is unhappy, for instance, but Shannon is still too young to have the emotional development to know what to do with that information. And again, that's not really fair to Shannon, IMO, for her to feel pressured to somehow singlehandledly solve that through her own person.

I'd like to think Shannon and her mom could be friends in the future, but honestly, I think college will be a wonderful thing for Shannon. She reminds me of a friend I saw when we were both coming back from Christmas break, and she said "Oh, I do love them--and so much more now that I don't live there!"


I don't know if this makes sense--I'm waiting for a migraine pill to kick in and here it goeeees

[hitzpink]

Good assesment alula! I agree with you that Mrs. Kilbourne was unhappy at home and needed something outside of her house for emotional/intellectual fulfillment. The only thing that bothered me was the way they phrased it, like ALL stay-at-home moms are needy, unfulfilled, and trying to live vicariously through their spouse/children. Also agree that college would do wonders for Shannon, although her mom might have a hard time letting her go! By the way, was it ever mentioned what job or whatever her mom decided to take to get out of the house?

[greer]

real estate agent

[Penny Lane]

I'm re-reading this book now, and I love it so much. I always wanted it when I was a kid, but it came out right when I was outgrowing the books, and I was forbid from going into that section of the bookstore. Looking at the cover -- I have that white sweater, but mine is a little more fitted, especially in the arms. :-)

As for the story, I had a similar experience in high school. So instead of explaining my side of the story, I'm just going to say that I strongly identify with Shannon in this book. I don't think she was being "a spoiled brat" at all. I don't like that phrase very much. Spoiled makes me think of old milk, and I don't really like the idea that you can "spoil" a child like you can spoil food. It's insulting. I know I'm not going to change the world, but it's just one of those phrases that don't really seem to mean much anymore.

[greer]

in russian instead of saying that a child is spoiled, you say that they were handled with hedgehog mittens. i think this is much better.

[Penny Lane]

greer - that's hilarious. I guess spoiled does make a little more sense.

[aln1982]

I love the Russian version, Greer. ;D Also don't like the word in the US, cpenny, though I guess get what it's supposed to mean ("ruined for society" maybe???).

[supprazz]

I thought Shannon's mom was really annoying and clingy as much as I also understand Shannon is 13, she always seemed mature for her age and her mom didn't seem to realize that until she left for the trip.