How would you fix Dawn's moving back to California arc?

[booklover85]

I would start foreshadowing Dawn's wish to be with her father and Jeff as early as #60, when she was antagonizing Mary Anne of spending quality time with her father.

When we get to Dawn's Big Move,I would write Dawn as wanting to move back to California for good,but both Jack and Sharon talk her into staying for six months "as a test run" and she can make her final decision from there.

Despite her conflict with Carol, Dawn makes her final decision six months later and decides to stay in California for good. Sharon is devestated, but she still supports Dawn in her decision. Thus the events of "Farewell Dawn" is pushed back several books.

[CharlotteTJohanssen]

That sounds reasonable to me! Her leaving officially in Dawn's Big Move would make more sense.

[oldhickory]

As it is, they drag out her uncertainty for ages. There are 21 books between Dawn's Big Move and Farewell Dawn! I would probably go the opposite route and make it much shorter - foreshadowing a handful of books right before she moves, then one move and she's gone. The fallout could all happen after she's gone.