Post by alula on Nov 28, 2007 3:04:59 GMT -5
I was inspired by the "About Ann" thread to start one for her official Scholastic biography, which promises to make you "know her so well you'll feel like Ann's friend."
I was thinking about why I find the style of the book so irritating, incidentally, and I think because it's written in sort of a childish way, sort of like a nine-year-old giving a report. The sentence structure is really bland and has no natural rhythm, and a lot of paragraphs end with kind of "well, duh!" summation statements. I'm really obnoxiously opinionated on children's literature not talking down to children, and I felt condescended to even as a kid. (Of course, I felt condescended to a lot as a kid, because I was kind of a pretentiously bookish brat, so there you go.)
It's also really tediously "Ann is SO AWESOME, you guys!" It's like a 165-page chapter 2, except not as technically well-written. Ann is totally a Mary Sue; even her "flaws" are cute. "Ha ha she can eat a ton of Peanut M&Ms! She has to go on a diet to gain weight! Once in high school another girl stole her paper because she didn't want Ann to turn in something so good! But her make-up project was even better!" I used to read a lot of memoirs and biographies by children's book authors, since that was my ambition, and I honestly can't think of any that are so persistent in avoiding their subjects making any mistakes. Which seriously about is boring in non-fiction as in fiction. I'm not asking for scandal here, just mild conflict.
Although I will say that there's a weird obliqueness to chapter 9 "summer fun" and chapter 15 "college" if you were looking for lesbian subtext, but some of it may just be plain sloppy writing. I find chapter 6 to be almost hilariously bad writing in that it lifts about a third of its text directly from comments on her elementary school report cards.
Anyway, random quotes from flipping through it again:
Please, if I'm ever famous enough for someone to publish a biography about me, do not write about how I didn't cut classes in high school! Even my ultimately tedious high school drama is better than my high school non-drama!
Also, for those of you keeping score at home, this was when Ann was eleven, which I personally think is a little young to start describing people as having "beautiful hour-glass figures," but considering how in the early books, sophistication=filling out a bikini top, maybe I shouldn't be surprised.
re: "Tastes" (seriously, that's the title of the chapter)
This chapter also features a picture of Ann wearing cuffed mom jeans, in which she has some huge square thing in her back pocket that makes it look like she has something growing out of the back of her thigh. I sort of feel guilty for pointing this out, because I don't like to make fun of people's photographs, but seriously, WHO decided to put that in the book? It's just an awful picture. Even her 1973 prom picture, in which she sported a floor-length, yellow and orange flower print dress and a white shawl, must have been better. (Aw, Ann, it was the 70s! It's OK! You should see my mom's wedding pictures!)
re: video Mary Anne
Things that do not compute with the actual series:
• Ann thinks Claudia being dyslexic is "probably a good theory"
• apparently, Claudia does "just fine" in her FALNY art class in New York, New York, so I must have hallucinated all those chapters of sulking and angsting. Also, the "draw the boxes" exercise was based on a college art class Ann hated and skipped all the time, which ultimately killed her interest in art lessons. Obliquely, this is because the professor was a "truly terrible teacher", not because there's a difference between the grunt work of developing technique and drawing flying bananas and little boys parked in their wheelchairs on tables. (Was it ever established that Ann did the perspective-free illustrations in SS#1? I'm totally ripping off mizzmarvel's commentary, but maybe she should have drawn a few more boxes first).
Things that are totally random, but I find funny:
• once the Martin family went on vacation and visited "Flintstone Park," but Fred wasn't there because he had been "stoned by a visitor the day before."
• the boardwalk at not-Sea City has purple plastic palm trees. Apparently, this is where teenagers went on dates. I feel a little deprived never having gone on a date featuring by purple plastic palm trees.
• when Ann was little she thought foxes lived under her bed. Aw. (I think Kristy did, too.)
I was going to make a list of all the direct BSC/LS references, but I got bored, and this is already ridiculously long. Ann would pass the Mallory Pike/Henrietta Hayes test, though. She totally had a real hamster named Frodo!
I was thinking about why I find the style of the book so irritating, incidentally, and I think because it's written in sort of a childish way, sort of like a nine-year-old giving a report. The sentence structure is really bland and has no natural rhythm, and a lot of paragraphs end with kind of "well, duh!" summation statements. I'm really obnoxiously opinionated on children's literature not talking down to children, and I felt condescended to even as a kid. (Of course, I felt condescended to a lot as a kid, because I was kind of a pretentiously bookish brat, so there you go.)
It's also really tediously "Ann is SO AWESOME, you guys!" It's like a 165-page chapter 2, except not as technically well-written. Ann is totally a Mary Sue; even her "flaws" are cute. "Ha ha she can eat a ton of Peanut M&Ms! She has to go on a diet to gain weight! Once in high school another girl stole her paper because she didn't want Ann to turn in something so good! But her make-up project was even better!" I used to read a lot of memoirs and biographies by children's book authors, since that was my ambition, and I honestly can't think of any that are so persistent in avoiding their subjects making any mistakes. Which seriously about is boring in non-fiction as in fiction. I'm not asking for scandal here, just mild conflict.
Although I will say that there's a weird obliqueness to chapter 9 "summer fun" and chapter 15 "college" if you were looking for lesbian subtext, but some of it may just be plain sloppy writing. I find chapter 6 to be almost hilariously bad writing in that it lifts about a third of its text directly from comments on her elementary school report cards.
Anyway, random quotes from flipping through it again:
The girls were a studious group and always followed the school rules. The high school was near the downtown area of Princeton and many kids sneaked out to the pizzeria or nearby hamburger joints. Ann and her friends never did, even though they could have gotten a much better meal.
Please, if I'm ever famous enough for someone to publish a biography about me, do not write about how I didn't cut classes in high school! Even my ultimately tedious high school drama is better than my high school non-drama!
Ann was beginning to have a beautiful, hour-glass figure around that time, but the operation [to remove her spleen] left a big, vertical scar up her stomach. Ann's father said it looked like a night crawler––one of those extra long worms. Everyone was very proud that Ann continued to wear two-piece bathing suits when they went away to the beach that summer.
Also, for those of you keeping score at home, this was when Ann was eleven, which I personally think is a little young to start describing people as having "beautiful hour-glass figures," but considering how in the early books, sophistication=filling out a bikini top, maybe I shouldn't be surprised.
re: "Tastes" (seriously, that's the title of the chapter)
Ann may be shy and quiet, but she knows what she likes and she doesn't. And she'll tell you, if you ask her. Ann's style isn't fancy, but she likes thngs of good quality. She has simple, traditional, classic taste.
. . .
When Ann gets dressed up, she wears dresses and jumpers made of tasteful flower-printed material. They are simple, but well-cut. Every so often, you'll see her in a dress with a lace collar. She never wears high heels.
Ann swears she doesn't look good without makeup. Her friends ask "What makeup?" Usually it's just a little cover stick to smooth out her pale, clear complexion, plus a hint of mascara and rouge. If she's really getting decked out, she might use a tiny bit of eyeliner. She hates lipstick and only wears it for photo shoots. Then she wipes it off. She thinks it's uncomfortable and smells funny.
. . .
When Ann gets dressed up, she wears dresses and jumpers made of tasteful flower-printed material. They are simple, but well-cut. Every so often, you'll see her in a dress with a lace collar. She never wears high heels.
Ann swears she doesn't look good without makeup. Her friends ask "What makeup?" Usually it's just a little cover stick to smooth out her pale, clear complexion, plus a hint of mascara and rouge. If she's really getting decked out, she might use a tiny bit of eyeliner. She hates lipstick and only wears it for photo shoots. Then she wipes it off. She thinks it's uncomfortable and smells funny.
This chapter also features a picture of Ann wearing cuffed mom jeans, in which she has some huge square thing in her back pocket that makes it look like she has something growing out of the back of her thigh. I sort of feel guilty for pointing this out, because I don't like to make fun of people's photographs, but seriously, WHO decided to put that in the book? It's just an awful picture. Even her 1973 prom picture, in which she sported a floor-length, yellow and orange flower print dress and a white shawl, must have been better. (Aw, Ann, it was the 70s! It's OK! You should see my mom's wedding pictures!)
re: video Mary Anne
[Ann] met the young actresses who were auditioning for parts in the videos, and helped pick which girls would get the parts. Bethany [the series editor, so file your continuity complaints to her!] helped, too. They thought they'd found the perfect Mary Anne–but the actress wore braces, and Mary Anne doesn't. Eventually, the actress had her braces taken off so she could play the part!
Things that do not compute with the actual series:
• Ann thinks Claudia being dyslexic is "probably a good theory"
• apparently, Claudia does "just fine" in her FALNY art class in New York, New York, so I must have hallucinated all those chapters of sulking and angsting. Also, the "draw the boxes" exercise was based on a college art class Ann hated and skipped all the time, which ultimately killed her interest in art lessons. Obliquely, this is because the professor was a "truly terrible teacher", not because there's a difference between the grunt work of developing technique and drawing flying bananas and little boys parked in their wheelchairs on tables. (Was it ever established that Ann did the perspective-free illustrations in SS#1? I'm totally ripping off mizzmarvel's commentary, but maybe she should have drawn a few more boxes first).
Things that are totally random, but I find funny:
• once the Martin family went on vacation and visited "Flintstone Park," but Fred wasn't there because he had been "stoned by a visitor the day before."
• the boardwalk at not-Sea City has purple plastic palm trees. Apparently, this is where teenagers went on dates. I feel a little deprived never having gone on a date featuring by purple plastic palm trees.
• when Ann was little she thought foxes lived under her bed. Aw. (I think Kristy did, too.)
I was going to make a list of all the direct BSC/LS references, but I got bored, and this is already ridiculously long. Ann would pass the Mallory Pike/Henrietta Hayes test, though. She totally had a real hamster named Frodo!